I really had no clue this parenting gig would be this hard. My padawans are amazing people and I really enjoy them. But there just aren't any clear cut answers in this job; and it gets harder as they get older. This weekend we went to a small con a couple of hours away. Ahsoka went missing for a while, then we discovered she was in the hotel room of another teenage girl she had met at the con. Her older cousin who was with us yelled at her. I fussed at her. She said she had gone along with the other kids thinking they were coming right back. I wasn't really sure what level of fussing to do. It was, as I said, a small con and they were never really in danger. What really concerned me was that she had not spoken up to the other kids.After the lecture, I walked away from her. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I had handled it wrong. And I just wanted to cry. My baby will be leaving me for college in 3 years. Who decided that was a good idea? And now the pressure is on to make sure she can take care of herself in a dangerous world. How do I teach her to look out for herself without making her afraid?
I went back to check on her and she was crying. I held her while she cried and assured her that making mistakes is part of how we learn. Being 15 just kinda sucks. But I've only been a parent for 15 years and that kinda sucks too. I'm constantly making stuff up as I go. And it feels like the stakes are too high to learn from my mistakes. But I guess its going to have to do.
